Master Male Nurse from the Stars and Beyond!
by SpookyChild
Summary: Here is the third installment of the ‘Bakura the Master’ saga. Ryou gets the flu, and it’s up to Bakura to make him better. Yes, you have the right to fear for Ryou’s little life. FINISHED!
1. I Feel Sick

Bakura: Master Male-Nurse from the Stars and _Beyond_!

A Yu-Gi-Oh Fanfiction by SpookyChild

Author's Notes:

Wow, two stories posted in one day! Is this the sign of the Apocalypse? Yes…I believe it is. Here is the third installment of the 'Bakura the Master' saga. Ryou gets the flu, and it's up to Bakura to make him better. Yes, you have the right to fear for Ryou's little life.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Well, actually, if you want to get technical…then I still don't.

Chapter One: I Feel Sick 

Bakura looked up from his Lucky Charms to see Ryou running down the stairs, pulling his blue uniform jacket through his arms and holding his folder in his mouth. He rushed into the kitchen and began rummaging through the refrigerator with amazing speed.

"Uh, good morning." Bakura said.

"Sorry Yami, I can't talk now. I slept right through my alarm and now I'm going to be late if I don't hurry." Ryou replied quickly. He shoved a cereal bar into his bag and dashed out the door. Bakura blinked.

"Um, bye to you too, you ungrateful bastard." He snapped, pouring himself some more cereal.

*** 

Ryou took a quick glance at his watch and groaned. He would really have to press himself if he wanted to make it to school in time. He pumped his legs harder and picked up speed. He suddenly felt his stomach growl and remembered the cereal bar in his briefcase. Ryou shoved his hand into his bag, fishing around for it. He finally located it and pulled off the wrapper and shoved almost half of it into his mouth, then the second half. As he rounded the corner, he spotted the school. He sighed with relief and slowed a bit when he noticed students still hanging out in courtyard. He jogged through the gate and stopped to catch his breath, feeling strangely weak.

"Hey! Ryou!" 

Ryou turned to see Yuugi and the gang rush up to him. He smiled and straightened up.

"Hi, Yuugi. I almost didn't make it in time!" Ryou said between breaths. Yuugi looked closer at him.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asked. Ryou smiled.

"Sure. Why?"

"It's just that you look kind of pale. Are you sick?"

Ryou laughed. "No way. I haven't gotten sick since I was three. It's just that I had to run all the way here." 

"I think you're sick." Jounouchi stated. Ryou frowned.

"I am NOT sick." He growled. Just then, Anzu rushed up, smiling.

"Hey, guys! You kind of left me behind back there." She smiled disgustingly and everyone shuddered. She turned to Ryou.

"Oh, hi Ryou! Hey! Are you sick?"

Ryou twitched. "I DO NOT GET SICK!"

"Ooh, Sicky is getting irritated." Jounouchi smirked.

"I'M NOT SICK!" Ryou screamed, just as his stomach gave a strange jump. He quickly forgot about it when the bell rang, and swiftly scurried to his class. 

*** 

_Ooh, I'm sick._

Ryou groaned slightly and drew in a breath, trying to fight the dizziness. Ever since his first class, his stomach had been giving strange jolts and jumps, and now his head was pounding and he felt nauseous. But, he was sure he could finish out the day. Only three more classes to go, and they were slack-off classes that he could just sleep through. He wasn't looking forward to the walk home, though. Oh well.

"Ryou!"

Ryou jumped when he heard his English teacher shout his name.

"Y-yes?" 

"Come to the front of the class and read your paper!" His teacher screamed, looking really annoyed.

_Woo boy._

Ryou slowly got to his feet and his stomach churned. He walked to the front of the class and closed his eyes.

"O-okay, my report is on-," Ryou began before he was interrupted.

"Speak louder!" His teacher snapped from behind him.

"M-my report-,"

"LOUDER!"

"M-my report is-," _Ooh, here comes that cereal bar…_Ryou immediately spun around and threw up. Unfortunately, his English teacher was right behind him. There was complete silence in the room, before the entire class erupted in applause and cheers. A few bullies in the corner howled with laughter.

"Oh, Baby Ryou, you want your mama?" he called.

"No, I want my Yami!" Ryou cried. Jounouchi jumped up on his table.

"I KNEW HE WAS SICK! DIDN'T I TELL YOU HE WAS SICK?!" he yelled.

"Aww, poor Ryou." Yuugi murmured. He quickly ran to the front of the class to save Ryou, who was sobbing pathetically on the floor, from their English teacher's wrath.

"Sorry, Mr. Takenaka! He's sick. Can I take him to the nurse?" Yuugi asked. Mr. Takenaka's face had turn an interesting shade of purple and he was shaking with fury. He pointed angrily at the door. "Thank you. Come on, Ryou." Yuugi took Ryou's hand and led him out of the classroom.

"Awww, why did I have to do that?!" Ryou moaned pathetically when they were in the hallway.

"Oh, it wasn't…_that_ bad, Ryou. It's going to be okay." Yuugi soothed. Ryou moaned again.

"It's _not_ going to be okay! They already hate me! I'm never going to live this down!" He exclaimed. They stopped in front of the clinic.

"Hey, at least you pelted Mr. Takenaka!"

*** 

Bakura sighed when he heard the phone ring. He got up from the couch and crossed the living room and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Yami…" Bakura frowned when he heard Ryou's voice.

"Eh? Where the Hell are you calling from?"

"The school clinic." Ryou answered, his voice hoarse. Bakura raised his eyebrow.

"What's wrong with you this time? Did you trip in gym? Someone beat you up?" Bakura suddenly gripped the phone. "Did the class hamster attack you again?"

"I threw up on my English teacher."

"Well, that about tops it."

"I need you to come pick me up." Ryou croaked. Bakura sighed.

"Fine, fine, I'll be there in ten minutes. Are you sure the hamster didn't attack you? Because I have some people working on the inside, and they could take him down." Bakura told him. Ryou simply groaned and hung up. Bakura put the phone back on his handle, grabbed the car keys and exited the house.

*** 

Bakura burst through the doors of the clinic.

"RYOU?! _RYOU_?!" Bakura shouted at the top of his lungs. The nurse frowned and rushed over to him.

"Sir, please, lower your voice! We have people resting! Ryou is right in there!" She pointed to the adjacent room, where Ryou was lying on a bed. 

Bakura walked over to Ryou and pulled back his hair.

"What are you doing, Yami?" Ryou asked while Bakura put his hair back in a tie.

"I'm tying your hair up incase you puke again. Your hair is too pretty to get soiled." Ryou smiled and raised his hands up to Bakura. 

Bakura raised an eyebrow at Ryou's jester. ""What?"

"I'm sick. Carry me." Bakura rolled his eyes and picked him up. 

"Okay…yes, Ryou's father has put you down as a reference." The nurse said, looking up from her files. Bakura raised his eyebrow, hiking Ryou up more in his arms.

"What the Hell does that mean?"

"It means that you can sign Ryou out and take him home." She told him. Bakura smirked.

"Excuse me, _Ma'am_, but even if I wasn't a reference, I'd still take him home." Bakura turned on his heel and stalked out of the clinic, leaving a slightly stunned nurse at her desk as he carried Ryou to their car.

Bakura safely set Ryou into the car and sat in the driver seat. He started up the car and pulled out of the school parking lot. Not far down the road, Bakura turned to Ryou and patted his lap. Ryou turned away but Bakura persisted. He patted his lap again. Giving in, Ryou laid his head down on Bakura's lap. Bakura cooed. 

"Ah, Little Baby Ryou needs me to pick him up from school." Bakura sang in a singsong voice, poking Ryou in the face. 

Ryou tried to swat him away. "Quite it!" He snapped. Ryou suddenly grabbed Bakura's leg.

"What the Hell?" Bakura growled.

"Pull over!"  Ryou quickly sat up. Bakura never knew what hit him as he met Ryou's breakfast. "Too late."

"Gross Ryou. Just gross."

***

Bakura swung the door open and threw the keys on the nearest table. "Damnit Ryou! Now I need a shower." He looked down at his soiled clothes and groaned.

"You need a shower!? That's twice now that I've thrown up. I need a shower!" Ryou cried, leaning up against the wall, trying to look pitiful. Bakura narrowed his eyes. 

"I'm taking a shower." 

Ryou growled. "No, I am."

***

"This was a great idea. I scrub your back, you scrub mine." 

"Just keep your eyes closed."

"I am, I am."

Ryou put a hand over his mouth. "I think I'm gonna be sick." He moaned, leaning over slightly.

"Oh shit!" Bakura made a diving leap out of the shower and ran out of the bathroom naked. Ryou smiled and straightened himself.

"Ah, alone in the shower." Ryou happily poured some shampoo in his hands. He breathed in the scent and immediately felt his stomach churn. He jerked his head down and threw up. He sniffed a few times before turning off the water and stepping out of the shower. He dried himself and weakly walked out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist.

"Well, good thing I washed off all the puke before you went all projectile on me." Bakura greeted him, following close behind Ryou and walking into the room with him. Ryou began to pull off his towel when he noticed Bakura was still in the room with him.

"You pervert!" Ryou cried. 

"Oops! I'm sorry!" Bakura stammered, exiting the room. After a few minutes, the door opened and rather flushed Ryou came out, dressed in his nightclothes. He walked past Bakura.

"Excuse me, Fever Boy, but where are you going?" Bakura asked, placing a hand on Ryou's shoulder.

"I'm going to go clean up the bathroom." Ryou stated, trying to shrug Bakura off.

"You are going to _bed_." Bakura told him firmly, pushing him back into his room. Ryou broke away from him.

"You don't have to treat me like some weak little child!" He snapped. Bakura put his hands on his hips.

"Oh, and this is coming from the person who had me carry him to the car. Go to bed, Sicky." 

Ryou frowned but obeyed, settling himself under the covers. Bakura sat on the edge of the bed, putting a hand on Ryou's forehead and the other on his own. He frowned and went into the bathroom to get the thermometer. 

"Open." Bakura ordered. Ryou went to protest, but Bakura used this opportunity to shove the thermometer into Ryou's mouth. "Hmmm…you have a high fever. I'm going to go get you some medicine." He stood up and left, coming back a few seconds later with a cold washcloth, which he placed on Ryou's forehead. "Now, if you get up when I'm gone, I'm going to bind your hands to the bed frame. Now, go to sleep." Bakura turned and began to leave.

"Uh, Yami?" Ryou called, sitting up. Bakura turned around. "Thanks for…you know, taking care of me and all."

Bakura smiled. "It's nothing. Now, get back in that bed before your immune system fails and you die from pneumonia." Bakura strode out of the room, leaving a very confused and nervous Ryou lying in bed. 

-----------------

(A/N)

Okie dokie, artichokies. There it is. Ryou's sick, and now Bakura gets to take care of him. What's going to happen in the next chapter? How the Hell should I know? I haven't written it yet. Well, all I know is that Bakura's going to buy some medicine for Ryou. That can't be too destructive, can it? CAN IT?!

Chapter Two: Ummm…I don't know yet.

Remember kids, SMILE UNTIL YOU STOP.


	2. That Darn Medicine Run

Bakura: Master Male-Nurse from the Stars and _Beyond_!

A Yu-Gi-Oh Fanfiction by SpookyChild

Author's Notes:

Well, look who's back from the dead! (Being a statement that many authors' use when they haven't updated a story in a while. Woo! I'm falling in with the rest of the crowd!) Okay, I think I told two people that I was going to rewrite the first chapter, and then I would continue this story. Well…I didn't feel like writing it over again. So…yeah. This chapter is for everyone who kept asking me when I was going to update it. Thank you, for you were the motivation I needed to go completely insane and actually write a semi-good chapter. Go you!

Disclaimer: For further notes, see my other disclaimers.

Chapter Two: That Darn Medicine Run (Woo! I rhymed!)

Bakura stepped out of the house and stopped. He suddenly remembered something.

"What kind of medicine do you get someone who's sick?!" Bakura shouted to no one. He looked towards the mailbox and sighed with relief. The mailbox always had great ideas. Bakura wanted to stuff something down Malik's pants a few weeks ago, and when he opened the mailbox he found a centipede. Woo boy, Malik sure didn't like that idea, Bakura smiled. He opened the mailbox and pulled out a few envelopes and a magazine.

"Third notice, third notice," Bakura mumbled, rummaging through some bills. "Ooh, second notice!" He tossed that envelope behind his shoulder and turned to a magazine.

_Mommy's_ _Weekly_

Bakura raised his eyebrow and flipped through it before landing on an article.

_Is your child sick? Here's a few ways to make him feel better!_

"…GENIUS!" Bakura yelled happily, and continued his walk to the store.

*** 

_God, I'm bored. _

Ryou sighed and looked over to the digital clock on his bed stand. He groaned exasperatedly and rolled over, staring up at the ceiling. Bakura had only been gone for about ten minutes. He probably wasn't even at the store yet.

_This_ _sucks_. Ryou thought. He heard the phone ring from the kitchen and groaned again. 

"Damn." Ryou said out loud. He got out of bed and slowly walked to the kitchen. He picked the phone up off of its handle. "Hello?"

"Hey Ryou!"

Ryou rolled his eyes. "Hey Malik. What's up?"

"Nothing." The Egyptian boy answered. "You still sick?"

_Damn, word travels fast in a small town. _"Yeah." Ryou answered, putting his hand over his forehead.

"Okay."

"…Yep."

"…"

And then there was silence.

*** 

"Hmm, says here I should get him some medicine that caters to his symptoms." Bakura read from the magazine. He looked up and down the medicine aisle to see hundreds of different cold pills and liquid medicine. Bakura frowned.

"Excuse me, sir, may I help you?" Said a teenage girl with blonde hair next to him. Bakura raised his eyebrow.

"I guess." He answered. "I'm looking for some medicine."

"What kind?"

"Um…" Bakura thought for a minute. "I need some medicine that will make my Aibou stop throwing up all over my car." He stated abruptly. The girl stared at him blankly.

"Um…we have some Tylenol…" She said slowly.

"…BRILLIANT!" Bakura yelled, swiping a few bottle off of the shelf. The employee girl picked up a pink bottle from off the shelf.

"If your 'Aibou' is throwing up, you can also give them some Pepto-Bismal." She suggested. Bakura stared at the bottle.

"I don't know…my Aibou is girly enough. I don't think I want him drinking anything pink." Bakura walked out of the aisle and looked at the magazine again. 

"Hmm, now is says that I should get him some Popsicles if his throat is sore." Bakura read. "Is his throat sore? Oh well." Bakura picked up a few boxes and put them in the cart. He referred to the magazine again. 

"Now it says I should get him a present, something to cheer him up." Bakura thought for a moment. "Hmm, what do you get an effeminate fifteen-year old with the flu?" He suddenly smiled as the answer came to him. "Oh yeah, DRACO MALFOY DOLL!" He hurried down the toy aisle until he came upon Harry Potter's arch nemesis, in doll form. 

"Ryou loves this presumptuous bastard." Bakura said with a smile. He laid it down in his cart and, with a quick look down the aisle, put another one in for himself. "You sexy pure-blood, you…" Bakura giggled like a ten-year old girl at a slumber party and hurried out of the toy section.

*** 

"-So then I says to him, I says, 'Squirrel? TRY MONGOOSE, DUMBASS!'" Malik exclaimed loudly into the phone. Ryou rolled his eyes and got up from the chair he was sitting in and went into the kitchen to get himself a glass of water.

"You still there, Ryou?" Malik asked.

"Yeah." Ryou answered, sitting back down. 

"Oh." Malik went silent for a minute. "You still gay?"

Ryou blinked. "What?"

"Nevermind."

"Malik?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to go throw up, can I call you back?"

"Sure."

"Okay. Talk to you later." Ryou hung up the phone and smiled. _God, that was easy. I think I'll do that next time Anzu calls- oh, wait, I really **DO** need to throw up. That's creepy. _Ryou got up and darted to the bathroom.

*** 

Bakura dumped all of his items near the cash register and waited for the cashier to ring them up.

"Okay, that'll be 35.95$." Bakura pulled out Seto's credit card from his pocket and handed it to the cashier. He looked at the name.

"You're not Seto Kaiba." The cashier announced.

"Yes I am." Bakura replied.

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"No, you're not!"

"Yes, I am!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"**NO!**"

"**YES!**"

"**YOU ARE NOT SETO KAIBA!**" The cashier yelled, slamming the credit card down on the table.

"**I'LL** **KILL** **YOU**!" Bakura screamed back at him, grabbing him by his shirt. The cashier shrugged.

"Fine, fine, you're Seto Kaiba." He ran the credit card through the scanner and put his purchases in a bag. "Here, signed this." Bakura took the paper and pen.

"Uh, how do you spell 'Kaiba'?" He asked. The cashier handed him the credit card.

"It's right there." He pointed.

"Okay." Bakura signed the paper and handed it back, smirking. "Sucker."

*** 

Bakura opened the door to the house to see Ryou sitting by the kitchen table, drinking water and reading a comic book.

"I can see you." Bakura called out to him. Ryou shrieked and ran back to his room, jumping under the covers and pretending to be asleep. Bakura went and sat next to him on the side of Ryou's bed.

"Hey, Ryou, I got some medicine for you." He stated, dumping about five bottles of Tylenol on Ryou's bed. Ryou raised his eyebrow at them but said nothing. "And," Bakura went on, "I got some Popsicles for your sore throat. They're in the freezer."

"But," Ryou said, "my throat isn't sore."

"YOU'LL EAT THE POPSICLES AND YOU'LL LIKE THEM!" Bakura screamed. Ryou shrunk away and Bakura continued. "And, I also got you this." He handed Ryou the Malfoy doll. Ryou's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree on fire.

"I love you." Ryou murmured dreamily, hugging the doll to him. Bakura raised his eyebrow.

"Are you talking to me, or the doll?" He asked.

"You, Yami, of course." Ryou answered, still looking at the doll. Bakura rolled his eyes.

"Ryou, do us all a favor and lay off the drugs." He joked.

"You can't tell me what to do." Ryou stated with a frown. Bakura raised his eyebrow again.

"Ryou…just go to bed." Bakura shoved Ryou back down into bed and left, closing the door behind him. He shook his head._ Sometimes I worry about that boy…Oh wait, no I don't. _Bakura shrugged and went to watch 'Three's Company'.

-----------------

(A/N)

Yay! Stuff is finally starting to happen! GO STUFF! Um, yeah! What'll happen next? Two words: KILLER ACID SOUP! Oh wait, that's three words.

Chapter Three: "The Story of the Soup."

Thank you! 


	3. The Story of the Soup

Bakura: Master Male-Nurse from the Stars and _Beyond_!

A Yu-Gi-Oh Fanfiction by SpookyChild

Author's Notes:

Man, a lot of people were surprised about the Draco Malfoy thing in the last chapter. Did it scare you guys or something? GOOD! THAT'S WHY I DID IT! Now you will be scared by this new chapter, which involves much craziness! TREMBLE IN IT'S WAKE! ARE YOU TREMBLING?! Good…NOW READ!

Disclaimer: Good God, no!

Chapter Three: The Story of the Soup 

"Come and knock on our door!" Bakura sang happily, bursting into Ryou's room to find the other boy lying in bed. Bakura frowned and sat next to him, shaking him hard. "I said, come and knock on our door!" He sang again. Ryou moaned and opened his eyes.

"Yami, I just fell asleep and-," He protested, but Bakura frowned angrily.

"_COME_-_AND_-_KNOCK_-_ON_-_OUR_-_DOOR_!"

Ryou rolled his eyes. "We've been waiting for you." He grumbled, without much enthusiasm. Bakura smiled.

"Where the kisses are HERS and HERS and HIS-!" He left out on the last part, waiting for Ryou to finish.

"I'm gonna throw up!" Ryou sang to the last part. Bakura raised his eyebrow.

"That's not how the song goes, Aibou." Bakura stated. Ryou rolled his eyes and fell back down into his pillow, pulling the covers over his face.

"Yami, in the name of all things holy and pure, please leave me alone." Ryou groaned. Bakura pulled the covers away from his face.

"Awww, wittle baby Ryou getting angwy?" Bakura cooed mockingly, poking Ryou in the forehead. Ryou moaned again and looked close to tears.

"YAMI, IF YOU HAD ANY OUNCE OF DECENCY IN YOU, YOU WOULD GO AWAY AND LET ME SLEEP!" Ryou cried. Bakura rolled his eyes and got up.

"Psssh, you're no fun." He grumbled. Nevertheless, he turned away and left Ryou alone in his room. Bakura stood in the hallway for a moment. 

_Damn, what am I going to do now? _He turned around, slowly opening the door to Ryou's room and poking his head inside. "Ryou? Are you still sleeping?" He whispered. 

"GO AWAY!" Ryou screamed, turning over angrily. Bakura jumped and slammed the door, hurrying down the hallway and into the living room. He plopped down on the couch and sighed, turning on the television and flipping through the channels.

"-And on the next, 'Martha Stuart Living', Martha loses all her funding and begins arranging fruit baskets in prison..."

"Boring." Bakura moaned, flipping to the next channel.

" 'Come on! I'll give you TWENTY BUCKS for the One Ring!'" Sauron pleaded with Frodo.

" 'Umm... how about no?'" Frodo replied sarcastically. Sauron sighed.

" 'Oh well, I guess you- HEY! LOOK OVER THERE!'" Sauron pointed over Frodo's shoulder.

" 'What?!'"  

" '_YOINK_!'" Sauron laughed, snatching the Ring from Frodo and running all the way to Mordor with it.

" 'Hey! _Hey_!' " Frodo screamed, trying to chase after him. He finally gave up and stamped his foot on the ground. " 'God damn it!' " He cried.

Bakura rolled his eyes and changed the channel again. "It's been done."

" '-And I'LL attack with…' " Draco smirked and raised his wand to Harry. " '_Tarantallegra!'_ "

" 'Oh yeah?' " Harry grinned. " 'Well, I COUNTER with…' " He paused for dramatic effect. " '_Rictusempra_!' " Draco stood there, dumbfounded, before bursting into tears. 

"_ 'I'M NOT PLAYING WITH YOU ANYMORE!'_ " Draco then turned and ran from the room, screaming and crying like a five year-old girl.

Bakura rolled his eyes. "God, television sucks." He clicked the television off and heard the doorbell ring. Bakura moaned and rolled his eyes again.

"I swear, if that's a Jehovah's Witness, I'M KICKING THEIR ASS!" Bakura walked to the door and opened it, revealing the one and only Yuugi Mutou. Yuugi blinked up at him awkwardly. 

"Err, is Ryou home? I brought the rest of his school work so he can stay caught up." Yuugi explained, holding a few books and papers. Bakura raised his eyebrow.

"He's sleeping. Besides, if he's sick, he's not doing anything." Bakura began to close the door. "So, since you're such a good friend and all, why don't you do it for him?" Yuugi stuck out his foot and stepped into the hallway before Bakura closed the door. Bakura growled slightly but didn't protest.

"Ryou wouldn't want me to do that. And besides," Yuugi continued, beginning to look angry, "I don't approve of cheating, Mister 'I-Cheat-On-My-Urine-Sample -Test'." 

Bakura snickered at Yuugi's weak insult. "Hey, just because your growth was stunted doesn't mean you have to take it out on me." Yuugi frowned.

"Was that a short joke?"

"Why, did it go over your head?" Bakura burst out laughing. "Now THAT'S a short joke!"

"My God, you're stupid." Yuugi made his way into the living room and plopped down on the couch. "Well, I guess you and I can do his homework, then you can go over it with him when he's feeling better." Bakura shrugged and sat next to him and Yuugi began pulling things out of his backpack. He handed a worksheet and a pencil to Bakura.

"What's this?" Bakura asked, holding the worksheet out in front of him like it was diseased.

"It's his math homework. It shouldn't be too hard. I mean, you watch T.V. all day, so you had to learn something." Yuugi stated. Bakura shrugged and bent over the paper, mumbling the questions under his breath while Yuugi started on the English work.

*** 

"Bakura, do you know another word for 'flabbergasted'?" Yuugi asked, looking over to the Spirit. Bakura looked up and began thinking.

"Uh, Godzilla?"

"Never mind."

"Hey, how many times were you beaten up by the Mafia last month?" Bakura asked. 

"Seven times." Yuugi answered, erasing something. Bakura nodded and wrote that down on the math worksheet. He turned to Yuugi again.

"Uh huh, and what were the Pharaoh's gambling losses from February?" He asked.

"Five hundred dollars."

"Thanks." Just as these words escaped Bakura's mouth, he sensed Ryou waking up through their link. 

"Uh, Yuugi, I think it's time you should go home." Bakura stood up and shoved the worksheets and books back into Yuugi's arms and began pushing him out the door. "Just finish these worksheets on your own and bring them by later, okay? Okay." Bakura slammed the door behind him. 

Yuugi raised his eyebrow and looked to see how much work Bakura did, only to see the paper covered in sentences like, "The Pharaoh smells like a moose", and, "I like beer". Yuugi rolled his eyes and walked home.

*** 

"AAAAAHHHHHH!!! NO MORE POP-TARTS!!!" Ryou screamed, tossing and turning. Bakura burst in, sitting on the edge of the bed and shaking him roughly.

"Man, Ryou! Wake up!" He screamed. Ryou opened his eyes and canned the room crazily. Finally, he turned to Bakura and grabbed his face, as if to make sure he was real. Bakura frowned at the contact but didn't say anything.

"Oh, thank God it's you, Yami! I just had the weirdest nightmare!" Ryou gasped exasperatedly. "You were there," he pointed shakily at Bakura's face, "-and you were there, and you…" At this, Bakura began to really worry that the fever had driving Ryou crazy, because now the boy was pointing to invisible people around the room.

"Um, Aibou, there's only one me." Bakura stated. Ryou stared at him suspiciously.

"So there is…so there is…" Ryou muttered. _Note to self: There is only one Bakura._ He thought madly. Bakura raised his eyebrow and began to slowly push Ryou back down into the mattress.

"Um, Ryou, I think you should go back to bed. You've obviously have had a very busy day of CRAZY."

Ryou frowned and jerked back up, shoving Bakura's hand off of his chest. "I don't need this crap from you!" He snapped. "Before I met you I was just a scared little boy, living with my mean Aunt, Uncle and Cousin, just trying to live my life and make friends. And then one day I got a letter, and before I knew it I was swept away to be the hero of the Wizarding world, and I made friends and defeated the Dark Lord and-,"

"Okay, Ryou," Bakura placed his hand over Ryou's mouth to silence the boy's silly ramblings. "I have to stop you there. First off, that wasn't you, that was Harry Potter." Bakura stroked Ryou's hair in the 'You're-Insane-So-I-Pity-You' way. "And second, I'm going to go make you some soup, okay? Okay." He patted Ryou's cheek and walked out of the room, leaving a very confused and feverish Ryou alone in his bed.

*** 

Bakura looked down at the bubbling concoction in the pot in front of him. He sniffed it and stuck the wooden spoon in, stirring the soup gently until he was sure that everything was mixed and blended. Bakura smiled and pulled out the spoon, noticing that the half that was in the soup had miraculously disappeared. Bakura raised his eyebrow slightly, and then shrugged.

"It's done!" He called up the stairs, and a bedraggled Ryou stumbled out of his room, rubbing his eyes. He dropped in a chair at the kitchen table, supporting his head with his hands as Bakura went to get the soup. Bakura gave the soup in the pot a skeptical look before shoving it under Ryou's nose.

"Do you want this?" Bakura asked. Ryou took one look at the bubbling, hissing soup, gulped slightly and shook his head 'no'. Bakura shrugged and dropped the entire pot into the sink. 

"Well, it's in there if you change your mind." Bakura stated before turning around and cleaning up the mess on the stove. Ryou moaned slightly and lowered his head onto the table. Bakura jerked around fearfully.

"You didn't eat that soup, did you? Because I was just kidding!" He cried. Ryou raised his head slightly.

"No." He answered. Bakura let out a sigh of relief and opened the refrigerator door.

"Well, you should eat something. I mean, you know what they say, 'You gotta eat.'" Ryou raised his eyebrow.

"Who says that?"

"They do."

"Who's 'they'?"

"…Listen Ryou, shouldn't you be in bed or something?" Bakura growled. Ryou shrugged and went upstairs. Bakura watched him go before grabbing something out of the refrigerator. "Hey Ryou!" He called. Ryou turned around just as Bakura tossed something to him. Ryou raised his eyebrow. 

"Take a Pop-Tart." Bakura grinned as Ryou screamed at the remembrance of his nightmare, threw the Pop-Tart in the air and ran up the stairs. Bakura chuckled.

"God, he's fun when he's sick."

-----------------

(A/N)

Woo! Scared ya, didn't I? DIDN'T I?!  Okie dokie! Well, stay tuned for the next chapter, when Ryou's father comes home and takes him and Bakura to the doctor's office! And also…VOMIT!

Chapter Four: "Flu on You!"

Thank you!


	4. Flu on You!

Bakura: Master Male-Nurse from the Stars and _Beyond_!

A Yu-Gi-Oh Fanfiction by SpookyChild

Author's Notes:

Okay, okay, I know I put in the preview for this story that Ryou was supposed to throw up and Bakura says, "Damn Ryou, when the hell did you eat _that_?!" But, I'm lazy, and I forgot to put it in. So, here's the fourth and last chapter! Yeah…that's it.

Disclaimer: Hehe…yes, I own Yu-Gi-Oh. 

Chapter Four: Flu on You!

Bakura looked away from the television when he heard the doorbell ring. He rolled his eyes and stood up, walking towards the door.

"Hello?" He asked, opening the door. "Oh, hey Daddy."

"Hey Spirit." Ryou's father replied, walking in and taking off his jacket. "Ryou called me. How is he?"

Bakura shrugged. "He's fine. I've been taking care of him." He boasted proudly. Ryou's father went a few shades paler.

"Oh, my dear Lord." He murmured before running into Ryou's room. Bakura frowned but followed. When he entered the room, he found Ryou's father perched on the edge of the bed, feeling Ryou's forehead.

"How're you feeling?" He asked. Ryou shrugged.

"Better, I guess." He stated. Ryou's father looked thoughtful. 

"Well, maybe I should take you to the doctor's office, just in case you're, like, dying or something." Ryou frowned.

"Oh, real nice, dad." He said sarcastically. 

"Nothing's nice about dying, Ryou." His father pointed out. "Now get ready, I'll go make an appointment for about an hour from now." Ryou's father turned and left the room. 

*** 

"Punch-buggy!" Bakura exclaimed, leaning over and punching Ryou roughly. 

"OW!" Ryou wailed, placing his hand over his shoulder. "Dad, Yami hit me!"

"No one likes a tattle-tail, Ryou." Mr. Bakura said, looking in the car mirror. "You just hit him back."

"OW! That hurt!" Bakura shrieked. Rustling.

"OW! _Stop_ it! That's not _funny_!" More rustling.

"**_OW_**_! SON-OF-A-_!"

"ENOUGH!" Ryou's father screamed, placing a hand over his forehead. _Why_ _me_…? There was silence in the car, before Ryou broke it.

"Dad! Yami's sitting next to me!" He complained, glaring at the spirit.

"Ryou's blinking!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"ENOUGH!" Ryou's father screamed again. "Not another _word_ from you two or you'll get it when we get home!" 

"…Am not."

*** 

"Oh, that crazy Pinocchio." Bakura chuckled softly, watching the Disney movie on the small T.V. in the doctor's waiting room. "He's always telling those lies."

"Yeah, what a renegade." Ryou stated sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Awww, someone's getting cranky!" Bakura cooed, pinching Ryou's cheeks and shaking him. Ryou frowned.

"Quit it!"

Just then, Malik walked out of the doctor's office, looking sick. Bakura raised his eyebrow.

"Hey, Malik. What're you doing here?" He asked. Malik shrugged.

"I caught that stomach flu that's been going around." Malik answered, paying the fifteen-dollar co-payment to the receptionist. Yami Malik came out of nowhere suddenly and grabbed on to Malik.

"He's havin' my BABY!" Y. Malik shrieked happily. Malik snapped his head around.

"What?! No I'm not!" He yelled. "And besides, if anyone was having anyone's baby, it would be you who was having mine!" Y. Malik looked horrified.

"Would not!"

"Would too!"

"Would not!"

"Would too!"

"Does anyone here actually _have_ a uterus?" Ryou asked with irritation. The two Malik's looked to the ground, embarrassed.

"No…" They answered in unison.

"Okay, then who cares?" Ryou said, giving them a pointed look.

"What a bunch of idiots." Bakura stated, watching as the Egyptians left the building. "And they call us gay!" Ryou blinked.

"…They _what_?"

"Never mind. Hey! Is that a stethoscope?" Bakura turned and hurried into the doctor's room. 

"I'll be in there in a second Yami, so don't touch anything." Ryou called to him, sitting back down in the waiting room. "I have to wait for Dad to get back from parking the car and listen to the Great Tale." He added sarcastically. Just as he said that, his father walked through the door smiling.

"Well, I had to circle around a few times, but I found a better parking space than before." Ryou's dad said happily.

"Yeah, two whole spots closer." Ryou stated. 

"Oh, shut up."

"Mister Bakura, you can go in now." The nurse told them, pointing to the doctor's room. Ryou and his father walked in to find Bakura sitting on the examination bed with the doctor holding a stethoscope to his chest.

"Oh, he's Ryou, not him." Ryou's father said, pointing to his son. The doctor turned around and smiled.

"I know, he told me that he was Ryou's brother, and I figured if one is sick, so is the other."

"Hey, stick that cold thing on me again and I'll punch you in the face." Bakura growled, looking irritated.

"Sorry. Okay, let's see if it's anything serious." The doctor put the stethoscope to Bakura's chest again and frowned. Ryou tugged nervously on his father's coat.

"Eh…dad?" 

"Yeah?"

"Yami doesn't have a heart beat." Ryou whispered. His father closed his eyes wearily.

"Crap. I'll go start the car."

"DEAR LORD! THIS BOY DOESN'T HAVE A HEART BEAT OR PULSE!" The doctor shouted, grabbing Bakura's shoulders and shaking them. "NURSE! _NURSE_!" He called out of the door. "WE'RE GOING TO LOSE HIM! CODE RED! CODE RED!" 

Bakura and Ryou looked at each other and screamed.

"Why does this always _happen_ to us?!" Ryou shrieked as Bakura and him ran down the corridor, pursued by a pack of nurses and doctors screaming at the 'Dead-Boy' to stop so they could bring him back to life. Bakura shrugged.

"Just lucky, I guess." Bakura suddenly stopped and punched his fist into his hand. "Hey, I know what to do! I saw it in a movie." He turned around and faced the doctors. "JUMANJI!"

"No! That's not going to work!" Ryou snapped angrily before getting an idea. He turned and grabbed the small toy machine next to him and threw it to the ground. The glass shattered and bouncy balls began to roll all over the floor towards the doctors. Ryou smiled smugly. "There, that ought to slow them down for a while." 

The doctors simply jumped over the bouncy balls and continued their pursuit. Ryou frowned. "Strange, that usually slows them down for a while." With a shrug, Bakura and Ryou turned around and began to run again.

"So, Ryou, feeling better?" Bakura asked.

"SHUT UP!" Ryou yelled as they ran out of the building. They spotted Ryou's father in the car in front, and they hurriedly jumped in.

"Drive, drive!" Ryou screamed, and Mister Bakura stepped on the gas and they drove away, leaving the doctors and nurses in the parking lot. 

"Oh no, I'm the getaway driver." Ryou's father moaned once they were far enough away to slow down a bit. Bakura shrugged and leaned back into his seat.

"Hey, at least you're not Crazy Carl." He said. Ryou's father raised his eyebrow.

"Crazy who?"

"Never mind."

"I can't believe the bouncy balls didn't work." Ryou murmured, looking confused. Bakura giggled.

"Heh…balls."

Ryou glared at him. "Oh, grow up."

*** 

"Well, we're home." Ryou's father said as they collapsed into chair in the living room. "Let's never go anywhere together again."

"Agreed." Ryou and Bakura chorused. 

"So, Ryou, you're not sick anymore, are you?" Ryou's father asked, going into the kitchen to start making lunch. "I mean, you're not going to, like…flu all over the place, are you?" Bakura snickered.

"Flu all over the place… I get it. That's awesome." He said. Ryou rolled his eyes.

"Naw, I'm feeling a lot better."

"Why's that?" Bakura asked. Ryou shrugged.

"Because it's the end of the story."

Bakura raised his eyebrow. "What story?"

Ryou blinked. "Huh?"

"What?" 

"Never mind." Ryou said, sitting back in his chair. He smiled. "You know what would be funny? Since I was sick and you took care of me, it would be funny if _you_ got sick, and then _I_ had to take care of you. Wouldn't that be funny?"

"Shut your face, Ryou." Bakura grunted, turning on the television. "Martha Stewart is on."

-----------------

(A/N)

It's the eeeeeeennnnnnnnnnddddddd! Woohoo! And all that crap. So…yeah! Now, here's a preview for the next Bakura saga. Go previews!

Bakura: Master Camp Counselor from the Stars and _Beyond_!

The gang gets invited to be the counselors for a brand new camp nearby. 

" 'Camp Bouncing…Duck'? What the hell?!"

And, as we all know, the Yu-Gi-Oh cast is about as smart as a box of nails. So we _know_ this is a big mistake. We watch as Bakura gets in touch with…um…nature.

"Hold on! I'll set fire to the hive! _OW!_ _DAMNIT! _"

And Yami finds out a whole new meaning to the words 'Swimming Instructor'.

"Oh my God, Aibou is wearing his swim trunks! Later Anzu!"

If you ask me… I feel sorry for the campers.

And, here's a preview for the brand, spanking new "Almighty Yami" saga!

Yami: Almighty Vacationer from Egypt to the Shadow Realm!

Seto invites Yami and co. to his beach house for summer vacation. Please, don't ask why, I haven't figured it out yet. From a four hour car ride…

"Come on, guys! Let's play a game!"

"I'LL PLAY YOUR GAME!"

"_OW! _"

…To an interesting trip to the beach…

"God, I hate sand. It gets everywhere. And I do mean _everywhere_."

This is one summer they won't forget, unless they commit mass suicide. I'm hoping for the later.

As always… Thank you!


End file.
